I am here as a guide to finding and integrating our intrinsic Value
My name is Alwin, a young man currently living in Amersfoort, the Netherlands.
A deep longing for truth and connectedness with questions about Life’s true nature have been with me for as long as I can remember.
Growing up in a strictly religious environment, I was confronted early on with the light and shadow of being human. In my early twenties, I reached a dead-end – utterly depleted, and unable to stand up from my bed, I ventured out on a path to re-discover who I truly am.
From then on, my life has been a journey of remembering the many layers of our being – deeper and deeper into the mystery of this great Life, presenting itself in every moment.
Now, I help others find and integrate the experience of their own inherent Value and worth.
The most profound source of love and truth is Life itself
There is no teacher, no practice that goes beyond being a conscious human in every moment. The journey to this realisation got catalyzed by the crisis I faced in my late teens and early twenties. I was studying international relations at university, had a job in the army, was working in construction and practicing weightlifting and martial arts most days.
While externally doing good, I was internally consumed by a growing feeling of profound emptiness and despair. Eventually, my body could take no more, and one morning, I could not stand up from my bed. This led me into a profound journey of self-discovery.
First, I immersed myself in learning about the body. Guided by a variety of therapists and teachers, I attempted to correct my posture and learned to see in 3 dimensions.
Also, I started to engage the study of philosophy and literature, reading and listening to many, many books in search of wisdom and guidance.
The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me – my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love
Meister Eckhart
After several years, working with the mental and physical did not seem to suffice, and I went deeper. During a Feldenkrais session, visceral memories resurfaced about a surgery on my eyes I went through when I was one year old. This experience initiated the journey of connecting to the story of my emotions.
Through this process, my experience of self began to include the vivid and visceral reality of my inner life. The dreams and visions I received became an increasing source of guidance. Additionally, I started working with a variety of healers and spiritual guides. I also began to study a variety of ancient wisdom traditions, systems’ science, and therapeutic models – going deeper and deeper into the workings of the body, emotions, mind and Soul.
I started to see how my embodied, personal story is an interwoven, integral part of a greater, collective story which expands from my personal being to my family, society, and our entire humanity.
Eventually, the journey led me Home – to experience of peace and clarity that comes with the realisation that no-thing, essentially, can ever be broken and that all things leads to beauty.
Among this journey, many humans have walked and continue to walk beside me – touching me deeply with their courage, wisdom and love. Some as friends and lovers and others as guides and therapists – thank you for being who you are.
In the summer of 2023, I organised the first event under the banner of Field of Value – initiating a movement which continues to take shape to this day.
Field of Value is created to Inspire – if my story resonates with you, contact me to find out how I can be of Value to You
Listen below are some of the events, practices, courses and wisdom traditions that have inspired and continue to inspire me:
- Organic Intelligence, presented by Steven Hoskinson in ‘The End of Trauma Course’ taught me to viscerally feel the utmost centrality of simple human pleasure as the organising Center of our Story.
- Systems science, taught by Fritjov Capra in his 10-week course and books provided me with a mental framework to understand the unity of our Life – especially how this emerges in our social systems.
- (Universal) Sufism, especially through studying the work of Hazrat Inayat Khan, gifted me with a mystical framework to understand and refine much of my experience of Life.
- Learning to see 3D took me on a deep-dive into the functioning of the visual and nervous system. Besides working with a functional optometrist, I immersed myself in polyvagal theory and Feldenkrais. I learned to appreciate the vital interplay between the nervous system and the quality of our vision and being on all levels.
- Cosmo-Erotic Humanism by Marc Gafni and his companions gives me a heart-felt framework which proposes that the profound desire for intimacy and connection is the point of emerge of Life itself.
- My thesis, named ‘How life returns to dark places – A systems’ view on transitional justice practice in post-genocide Rwanda’ took me through a mental and emotional journey of understanding a little bit of the dazzling human ability to forgive and heal after profound suffering.
- Meditation, which essentially is the practice of sitting down to observe Life as it is, in the very moment, has been a primary source of rest, inspiration and healing which I have been practicing daily for 8 years.
- Movement practices, from yoga and qigong to wrestling and weightlifting have shown me the vital importance of truly embodying the qualities I need in my Life through consciously choosing the ways I move my body.
- Hiking, seeking adventure and solitude in the mountains and forests has made me appreciate the vast rawness and beauty of both the inner and the natural world.
- Writing, especially poetry, is my primary tool for integrating inspiration and experiences.
- My Soul, a special thanks to You for always providing a way, often giving me the most profound healing and inspiration in the dreams and visions that come when I surrender into the night.
